Bye, I will always miss you

Dear bloggers, friends, all,

I would like to tell that I will leave Jordan to Australia next week 25th /7/2006, and I really don't know if I will be able to post again, as i'm going there, without much expectations, its like i'm going to the unknown.

wish me luck, I really need your prayers, I will miss you, thanks for all of you who visited my blog, or wrote me a comment, or one day helped me to find the right direction.

Hope i wll be able to write again, but I think i will be busy searching for a job, to provide for my basic needs.

I love you all,

Proactivity Group is your home, and hope it will always be.

Eyad

She Loved Naji Al-Ali

She was simple, but she knew what love means, that love is sacrifice, she never liked philosophy, but she believed that love is not just a word; it is to give more than to take.

Before dawn, she wakes up to check on him, he was sleeping like an angel, he gets in deep sleep the moment he puts his head on the pillow, she loves to see him sleeping beside her, with that angelic look on his face, he smiles even in his sleep, she looked out of the window, to see if there was someone outside their house, it was war time, when she hears something she holds his hand, she wants him always to be with her, she puts her ear near his heart, as if she wants to make sure he is still alive.

She lived in the camps somewhere, he lived there too, and she was as poor as he was, when he saw her the first time, they fell in love, they blamed him, she is not beautiful, he never listened to them, he was like all boys in the camp, playing war games, no hide and seek any more, when the day came, they got married, as thousands of people in the camps, one room house, and big hope, in a better future.

He went to the gulf, he took her and the children, to make some money, but he returned back to Lebanon, he preferred the poverty of the camps than living in that consumerism way of living, Palestinians forgot their dreams of coming back, he thought it was better to live in the camps where one cannot forget his roots, and his people misery, he wanted to live his dream.

They lived in a time where assassinations killed innocent, and patriots, he was no exception, many times he received a warning, stop what you do, or we will kill you, he ignored them. Every morning she would wake up early, get in the car, and start the engine, to check if they booby trapped his car, she did that every morning, she wanted him to live, she wanted him to draw, as she loved him more than herself.

She didn’t know that they would kill him, because she thought that she could protect him, she forgot that there is no mercy in this world, but when they told her that he was killed, she cried, but then she smiled and remembered that he would never die, his drawings will make him immortal, Handala will never die.

الوردة ُ و العُصفور The Rose and The Bird

A poem in Arabic which I wrote last Thursday, and like to share with you.


أعْجبتِ الوْردة ُ بالعصفورْ
طـَربتْ جَذلا ً وَ تمايَلَ ساقاها للألحانْ
أعجَبَها سِحرُ غِناهْ

حمراءُ كلوْن ِالخَجَل ِالظاهِر في الوجْنة
الوردةُ كانتْ في مقتبل العُمرْ
مازالتْ كالطفلةِ تلهوْ
لا تعرفُ شيئا عنْ كلماتِ الحبْ
لم تسمعْ قبلا ًبالغزل ِ ولا بكلام الإعجابْ
تعرفُ أنّ الدُنيا حُلوة ْ
ما معنى الحزنْ؟
هيَ لا تعرفْ
هيَ تعرفُ أنّ الحُبّ رَقيقٌ مِثلَ المطر الهاطِلْ
فوقَ وُريْقات الأشجارْ
أو نِسْماتِ مساء ناعسْ

قالتْ للعُصفور الأصفرِ ما أحلاكْ
هَلْ تسْمعُني شيئا منْ بوح ِهَواكْ؟
يبعثُ للبهجة،
أو يجعلني أعلنُ أنّي مُغرًَمةٌ كملاكْ

بدأ العُصفورُ يغنّي
و يُرفرفُ من شدة فرحتِهِ
أعْجَبهُ لونُ الوردةِ و الأوراقْ
كانَ يُحدّقُ في البتلاتْ
و يزيدُ غناهُ جمالا ً
الوردة ُ ترقصُ كالطفلة ْ
ببرائتِها المعهودة ْ


كان َ يحدّقُ فيها
أعجَبَها
الوردة ُ قالتْ ما أحلاكْ
لم تعرفْ أحداً مِنْ قبلهْ
الوردة ُ أعجبَها سِحرُ غِناهْ
قالتْ إحملني حيثُ تطيرْ؟
إنّي لا أقدرُ أنْ أصبرْ
غنّي لي أكثرْ
فأنا مُفعمة ٌ بالحيوية ْ
أسمعني أكثرَ أسمعني

غرّدَ أكثرَ من كل عصافير الدنيا
كان يُحدّقُ فيها اكثرْ
هيَ لمْ تلحظ ْ
إقتربَ يحاولُ أنْ
هيَ لمْ تلحظ ْ
ظنتْ أنّ العُصفورَ يحاولُ أن يَشتمّ رحيقَ هَواها
لكنْ كانت فرصتهُ أن ينقضّ عليها
طلباً للدودةِ فوق الأغصانْ
أنقضّ سَريعاً
أكلَ الدودة ْ
وَ طارَ بَعيداً
لكنّ جَناحاهُ إلتطمَتْ بالوردةْ

فتناثرَ في الكونِ صَداها
بَتلاتُ الوردةِ في كلّ مكانْ
آهاتُ الوردةِ مازالتْ تترددّ في جَنبَاتِ الغابة ْ
كانت آخرُ كلماتِ الوردةِ
أنّي صدّقتُ كلام الغزَلَ المعسولْ
لكنّي لمْ أعرفْ أنّ وراءَ كلام ِالعُصفورِ دهاءً

أمّا العصفورُ فما زالَ يّغني في الغابةِ كلّ صَباحْ

She wanted to die

Sitting there in the shadows, trembling hands, shaking voice, she was remembering when he was her best friend, couldn’t believe what they told her, they were brought up together, she was the moon, he was the sun, they played together bayt byoot or 3aroos o 3arees (a game where little kids imitate being a bride and a groom then as married couples), out there on the mountains of Jabal Al 7adeed (suburbs of Amman) that was exactly in the early 1980s, he wanted to give her all little wild flowers, but still he doesn’t remember its names, hand in hand they walked, in front of their family eyes, their parents thought they were still kids.

Her favorite flower was Hannoun or shaka'ek al-No'man (Anemones), he always told her he sees them on her cheeks, she blushed to make a bloody red Hannoun, they used both to build there house on the mountain using stones, lines of stones to form rooms, kitchen, and bath room, they built it differently every time they played their favorite game, once he was sitting in one of those imaginable rooms, built from lines of stones, no ceiling at all, they could see the blue sky, he was holding her hand, told her, and here we can play with our children, Mais will be our daughter, and Qais will be our son, she laughed, and nodded, she looked in his eyes, there was something magical, she liked his talking.

Hannoun only lives during spring, it always declared the beginning of happiness to both of them, they were always seen together, and they grew together, but when they grew up, they weren’t allowed to play together, her mother told her to be careful, and his father told him that he was grown up and should stop playing like kids, but he wanted to play with her, parents never knew what love meant to both of them, so they was looking at each other while they were going to school, every day at 7:00 am, she was always there before him, waiting for him, they walked together to school, their parents never knew, they were like in a dream, a beautiful one, and they didn’t want to wake up from it.

One day, after he arrived home, his father was waiting for him to tell him that they were to go abroad, his father go a job in one of the oil gulf states, with a excellent salary, he told his father to stop, his father told him that he should be happy, because he would go to a better school, and make new friends, he was thinking of her.

He talked to her, and told her that he couldn’t do anything, and she should wait for him, and that he would come back and would ask for her hand when he grows up, she believed him, and they promised each other they would love each other for ever, and they were in tears, farewell was very hard, there was no Hannoun.

Yesterday, she knew that he was to get married, and she was invited to his wedding party, she sobbed, her tears never stopped, she went to see Hannoun, she hugged them, and remembered the promise, she wanted to kill herself, but before she did, she saw a bending weak Hannoun flower trying to stand up from under on big rock, she smiled, then she walked away.

The Three Most Important Things

One of my friends while he was talking to a number of beautiful Jordanian girls, no need to say that as all Jordanian girls are beautiful, proud of himself, then he asked them "Do you know what my three most important things I like in life?" he was laughing, they tried their chance with him, but they didn't guess, so he told them not to be sad, and that he would tell them, so he told them, my three most important things prioritized are:

1. Women.
2. Women.
3. And women.

They couldn’t stop laughing, so we all knew that women are all his life, and I think that each and every one of us has his/her three, four or whatever most important things in life.

As for me honestly guys, my most important three things in my life are:

1. Watermelon.
2. Watermelon.
3. Watermelon.
4. And watermelon.

Did I say three most? Oops! I meant four most important things, so can you tell me about your most three or four important things in life, hope you add them in the comments area, if you see it as a bad joke, you can add you one most important thing.

Enjoy your time

الدُمْيَة

A poem I wrote, and like to share it with all of you, please enjoy it.

الدُمْيَة

هل تعرفُ أنّي موجودٌ؟

كمْ كنتُ وحيداً حينَ مَرْرْتِ
و تمنيتْ
لو كانتْ ُوجهَتها نحوي
لو كنتُ المرفأ
لو كانتْ تعرفُ أنّي موجودٌ منذ اليوم ِالأول ِ منْ َموْلدِها
قدْ كانتْ قبلَ ولادتِها، لكني لمْ أوجْد أبدًا قبلَ ولادتِها


هلْ تعرفُ أني موجودٌ؟
هيَ تلغيني حينَ تكونُ، و حينًا آخرَ توجدُني
لا أعرفُ معنًا،
المعنى في سِر وجودي حينَ تكونْ

فحينَ تكونُ أكون مضيئا مثلَ الشمسْ
هي تبعَثني مِنْ عتمةِ ليلي كُلَ صَباح

لو كنتُ القاربَ و المجدافْ، أو كنتُ حقيبتها
هلْ تعرفُ أني مَوجودٌ؟
هل تعرفُ أن تواريخي قد صارتْ حينَ تجيءُ و حينَ تروحْ


هلْ تعرفُ أني موجودٌ؟
هيَ تعرفُ شيئا لا أعرفهُ
أني دُميتها
كانتْ تلهوْ بي يومًا مثلَ الطفلةِ
تعبثُ بي، لا تأبهُ ليْ
لكنّ التجديدَ هوايتها، أو غايتها
قدْ تركتني حينَ أحَبتْ دُميتها الأخرى
دُميتها الأثمنْ، دُميتها الأزهى

هلْ تذكرُ أنّي موجودٌ؟
لوْ تذكرُ أنّي كنتُ قديمًا دميتها الأحلى
لكنّي كنتُ نسيتُ الدمية قبلي
فلقدْ كانتْ دميتها قبلي، لكنْ كانتْ قدْ نسيتها
كانتْ لا تعرفُ إلايْ
و كنتُ نسيتُ أنا أنّي قد جئتُ بديلا
كنتُ نسيتُ بأنّي قدْ أترَكُ يومًا فوقَ المَقعَدِ وحْدي
لأراقبَ دُميتها الأجدَدَ
لمْ أعرفْ انّ التاريخَ بقسْوَتهِ
أو أنّ التاريخَ لهُ دوْرتهُ


وأنا في المقعَدِ مُنتظرٌ، يومًا قدْ تعرفُ أنّي موجودْ

Don't lose the chance!

Opportunities sometimes come once in a life, take it, Jessica Pierce gives us an inspirational example.

Jonathan Livingston

He will never fly, I’m sure he won’t be able to spread his wings and achieve his dream, he tries to break the rules of nature, everyone I meet say that, but still he is not convinced he won’t be able to make it, I tell him that he can’t fly, but he’s nuts.
Hope he will give up his dream to fly, as it’s very dangerous, and can cost him his life, all around tell him admit now that you can’t fly to save yourself the embarrassment later, he as I know him is determined, but here determination won’t make him any good.
Stop it now, before you regret it, please I told him as a friend-to-friend advice, but he kept his head up, looking there to the sky.
His name is Jonathan Livingston, the first time he was introduced to me was 7 years ago by a colleague, who knew him many years ago, can you help me convince him stop trying, please convince him for me, he is still young, but first I have to introduce him to you, Jonathan Livingston is like every and each one of us, to know him more please read this, you won’t regret it.
For those who don’t like reading, you will regret not reading his story, I was advised to read the story to the end, and when I finished reading it, there was a feeling I will never find again, because it is like seeing Petra for the first time, after you finish the Siq (The entrance of Petra).

True Freedom

People all around the world seek freedom; some of them struggle for their freedom, others accept being slaves but still they dream of the day to be free, but I believe that freedom is not granted, they say that the only moment that humans are free is when they are born, the moment they get out of the womb, when they cry their first, and breath air for the first time out of that place, may be the womb the prison, to discover later that the womb is better than being out.

Today, I like to talk about slavery and freedom, but it’s not freedom that all people talk about, I’m talking about another kind of freedom, I came up to this concept of freedom when I was 15 years-old, reading a book titled Al-fawa2id (The Benefits*) for one of the most famous Islamic scholars Ibn Qayyem Al-Jawziyyah.

He introduced me to the world of the human being; he was talking about our habits, and how we can be slaves to them, according to him, there are two governments* (symbolic meaning) inside each one of us, the first is Al-Nafs Al-soo2 (the bad desires in us, or may be bad spirit*), and the second is Al-3aql* (the mind), if you let one of them takes the control the other will be slave for the other, so if the mind wins you live happy, and if mind loses it become the slave.

When we lose control to our desires, or when we can’t change habits (at least bad ones), we become slaves, I can give you many examples, we hear people say “I can’t begin my day without coffee!”, “I can’t live without smoking!” who says that?!! It’s only in there minds, who said they can’t live without that thing they used to drink or eat? It is because they are slaves; they don’t have a true freedom.

When the mind takes over, it can manage its government, of course the mind should have some wisdom, since that time I decided always to check if I’m a slave of my habits, desires, or what I think I can’t live without, whether its food, etc.

Look inside you, and check deeply if you are slave of your own habits, say no, challenge yourself, before you discover one day that you lived all your life as a slave, sometimes your mind will lose, but again you should try to help your mind regain its control, freedom is so precious, and will never be granted without your effort, you can’t have other freedoms if you are a slave of your own desires, or habits.

* The terms were translated by the author of his article, if you see there are better translations; please add them to the comments.