Three Doctors and a Secretary

If you ask any kid in Jordan, what do you want to be in the future? The answer without thinking would be "I want to be a Doctor" but when you ask again "why?" the answer would be" to cure people!!" where the hell do they get that answer from?! Kids don't know what they really want to be in the future, but as their parents keep talking about being rich, and one way to achieve that is to be a Doctor, they catch the idea, and that’s how they become obsessed with the idea.

I hear people from time to time say; I wish I didn't study Computer Engineering or a nurse, etc., being a Doctor is better, implying "richer", I can picture Jordan full with Doctors, no engineers, managers, nurses, and doctors will become jobless, because there won't be patients, all people are doctors, I'm being sarcastic.

The reason I'm writing about this is the sad reality, that many doctors are more merchants than doctors; today I was visiting a doctor, I was early and he was late as usual, I had to wait for him almost for 2 hours, in that tiny room, which serves as a waiting place for three doctors, who share an old building, there was one secretary for all those three doctors, there was a talkative patient who initiated a talk with the secretary, so she began talking, about working there for the doctors, and how nice they are, they are all famous, kind, and humble doctors she said, we all were listening eagerly, until that man asked her " how much do those nice doctors give you?" She said, each one of them gives her JDs 35, so her salary is JD 100, she continued there were two additional doctors who gave her JD 35, but after they left the money left too, she continued that her salary is much better compared to one of her friends, who helps the doctor giving shots, and other things, and her salary is JD 70, one of those doctors was talking to someone on the phone trying to describe his big project in Aqaba, and about the profitability of that project!!!!! I thought for a minute that I was listening to a businessman.

again I'm not generalizing here, I know that there are good doctors, those who refuse to be inhumane, who care about their patients more than the care about money, but here I'm talking about those who love money more than anything, you can love money but in medicine its dangerous, they should take care of their patients and money would come too.

All the mentioned above doctors, are specialized doctors, and they take JD 10 as a fee, they all have many patients, they work at many hospitals, and because they good-hearted they give that poor secretary only JD 35 each, because they don't want her to get spoiled by that money, they believe that money is dirt, they think she doesn't know how money can affect her badly, or change her to a bad person as they are, I thought.

Our beloved children if you want to be doctors in the future please don't forget how to be humans too.

I'm Divorced, I'm Human

He begins by saying that he loves her and how much he can't live without her; he needs her as much as he needs air, and he keeps telling her that she should give him the green light to be able to ask for her hand from her parents, she always run away, shuts him out, always thinking of something, that makes him angry, he asks her tell me what the problem is, I'm beside you, I'm here, and always will be with you, tell me and you will see how I help you, she looks at him suspiciously, and tries to smile but nothing appears on her face except a cold smile, he promises her that nothing will come between them, tell me and you won't regret that.

She collects her strength to tell him, and in a very low voice she whispers to him "I'm divorced", silence prevails, he keeps silent for a while, he says why you didn't tell me, she asks does that make a difference? You told me that you love me, and you promised that nothing will come between us, he begins to raise his voice, and a sign of his manhood, but…he never continues, and tells her, that he should think about their relationship, and he never shows up, she keeps sitting where she used to sit remembering what he and other men once told her, she decides that she won't tell anybody that she is divorced, she learned that no single man deserves her love.

Many would say that this is not always the case, as they know many men who accepts to get married to divorced women, please notice the word "accepts" it means that there is something bad they don't like and that's why they have to accept, no one force them to accept, they accept because they themselves have something hidden they don't want any one to know about, but at the same time, they want the woman they want to get married to, to think that because she is divorced she shouldn't ask for any right in the future, he accepts her as his wife, but he sacrifices many things in order to be able to get married to her, what a shame on him!

I'm not with women or men, its all about being fair, please men, I mean those who refuse to get married to divorced women, imagine that you are divorced and no single woman accepts you as her husband, does that feel good? Treat others as you like them to treat you, what makes you refuse a divorced woman, and at the same time we as men get what we want, what makes the community forgive men, and at the same time refuses to forgive divorced women, despite the reality that women are their mothers, sisters,etc.

We men live with two personalities, believe me, even women, I asked my mom once, do you accept you only son to get married to a divorced woman, she kept silent, and said if she is not divorced its better, I asked her why, she couldn't answer, by the way, her daughter which is my sister is divorced too, what a shame! What logic of no logic! I know many divorced young women who are afraid to say that they are divorced at work, because they are afraid that her colleagues would treat them differently, or that the owner of the work tries to take advantage of them, they can't speak out as they live in this traditional community, and to be more precise they live in the backward community, men have many excuses, they repeat asking you want to buy a car, do you prefer it new or used?!! We all buy used cars, and they are pretty much good, if you love a woman and you are sure you want to marry her, do it anyway, be brave as you have to be, be a man, it’s the responsibility of both men and women, fathers and mothers, to solve this problem, we have all to use our brains, instead of getting them rusty.

Let's all speak out and up, it's unfair to treat divorced woman the way we used to treat them.

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The Kid with a Beard

I gave him 10 piasters (it’s a Jordanian currency which is still used, and is 1/7 US dollar), momentarily he was picking four packs of gum (sha'rawi gum), I took two of them, and I touched his hand as a sign that I only wanted two packs, unexpectedly he put his hand in his pocket and handed me a 5 piasters, I kindly refused, but he insisted on me to take the money or to take the four packs, his eyes were so convincing, he talked a language like in alien movies, but I got the message, he moved on to the next person in line, where we were waiting for the bus, it was always the same faces and the same guy who sold gums, and religious booklets, in Raghadan ( the main public transportation station in Amman).

That young guy usually goes to Raghadan on foot, because no public transportation car or bus driver (in Jordan called service cars) accepts to take him to Raghadan, only one old good-hearted driver offers him a drive, who delightfully meets him with a smile on his face, "hey, how are doing?" the driver begins, "come on in" he continues, " good morning, Ammi (a word used to call old men) Abu-Moh'd" the young man says, and as usual the kind driver Abu-Moh'd takes him to Raghadan, to begin his working day.

I don't know much about that young man, but I still remember that accident, which I witnessed myself, it was 15 years ago, I went to the mosque to the Magrib prayers (Sunset prayers), he was still a little kid then, he wanted to go in and pray but the man who was responsible for cleaning the mosque prevented him from going in, because the kid at that time was unable to control his body, he always had his saliva out of his mouth, he even couldn't walk properly, he limped like an injured soldier, some kind prayers tried to help the kid come in and pray, but the man who was responsible for cleaning always refused, so the kid sadly had to pray in the place where we used to put our shoes, believe it or not, he always prayed there, I was afraid he would hate religion, or give up on going to the mosque, but that didn't happen, he kept going there, and now he prays with others, not in the shoes place anymore.

That same guy now sells gum, or religious booklets for living, he is really a decent young man, who teaches us all a lesson of how achieving one's goals is a matter of a personal decision, its just to tell yourself "I want to be something" and to work on achieving that goal.

She worships him

There is always something that surprises me, even when I don't expect that to happen, today I will talk about something that keeps me wondering, at the same time I'm sure that most of you have heard of such stories, or experienced it yourselves.

Today I was watching American TV show, the host was asking a young woman about the reason she came to the show, and what she intended to say, the young woman was in tears, trying to collect her mind, to be able to tell her story, it took her a while to start telling her story, she said that she was beaten up by her boyfriend severely, she was describing the agony that engulfed her at that moment, the host interrupted her asking if she was there to tell her sad story, or if there was another reason, at that moment the young woman was trembling, as she was trying to reveal a secret, she said that she came the show to confess that it was her fault her boyfriend was beating her up, as she was who initiated the fights with him, because he was cheating on her, in her opinion she was supposed to be beaten up, she saw him as the victim, he was the prey and she was the predator, she wanted to make her apology to him for blaming him on their relationship failure, implying she should have accepted his cheating on her.

What on earth make that young woman say that! Or believe that her boyfriend was a victim, it isn't the first time I see such a young woman who blames herself for breaking up with her boyfriend or husband, I always wonder why all those women feel guilty after that bad treatment, sometimes we see that even the well educated women behave the same as the most ignorant girls, I can't get it!, what makes a woman to accept the humiliation?! And blame her self for trying to defend her self, are women nuts? Or good-hearted creatures that can't hate? And are men aware of that? And that is why they take advantage of women, or are they just heartless monsters? I want to say here that I'm not generalizing; I'm talking of those who accept to be treated badly, or those who enjoy treating others badly.

Is it a global problem? What makes that happen in US? I still don’t find the answer.