22 April, 2006

I'm Divorced, I'm Human

He begins by saying that he loves her and how much he can't live without her; he needs her as much as he needs air, and he keeps telling her that she should give him the green light to be able to ask for her hand from her parents, she always run away, shuts him out, always thinking of something, that makes him angry, he asks her tell me what the problem is, I'm beside you, I'm here, and always will be with you, tell me and you will see how I help you, she looks at him suspiciously, and tries to smile but nothing appears on her face except a cold smile, he promises her that nothing will come between them, tell me and you won't regret that.

She collects her strength to tell him, and in a very low voice she whispers to him "I'm divorced", silence prevails, he keeps silent for a while, he says why you didn't tell me, she asks does that make a difference? You told me that you love me, and you promised that nothing will come between us, he begins to raise his voice, and a sign of his manhood, but…he never continues, and tells her, that he should think about their relationship, and he never shows up, she keeps sitting where she used to sit remembering what he and other men once told her, she decides that she won't tell anybody that she is divorced, she learned that no single man deserves her love.

Many would say that this is not always the case, as they know many men who accepts to get married to divorced women, please notice the word "accepts" it means that there is something bad they don't like and that's why they have to accept, no one force them to accept, they accept because they themselves have something hidden they don't want any one to know about, but at the same time, they want the woman they want to get married to, to think that because she is divorced she shouldn't ask for any right in the future, he accepts her as his wife, but he sacrifices many things in order to be able to get married to her, what a shame on him!

I'm not with women or men, its all about being fair, please men, I mean those who refuse to get married to divorced women, imagine that you are divorced and no single woman accepts you as her husband, does that feel good? Treat others as you like them to treat you, what makes you refuse a divorced woman, and at the same time we as men get what we want, what makes the community forgive men, and at the same time refuses to forgive divorced women, despite the reality that women are their mothers, sisters,etc.

We men live with two personalities, believe me, even women, I asked my mom once, do you accept you only son to get married to a divorced woman, she kept silent, and said if she is not divorced its better, I asked her why, she couldn't answer, by the way, her daughter which is my sister is divorced too, what a shame! What logic of no logic! I know many divorced young women who are afraid to say that they are divorced at work, because they are afraid that her colleagues would treat them differently, or that the owner of the work tries to take advantage of them, they can't speak out as they live in this traditional community, and to be more precise they live in the backward community, men have many excuses, they repeat asking you want to buy a car, do you prefer it new or used?!! We all buy used cars, and they are pretty much good, if you love a woman and you are sure you want to marry her, do it anyway, be brave as you have to be, be a man, it’s the responsibility of both men and women, fathers and mothers, to solve this problem, we have all to use our brains, instead of getting them rusty.

Let's all speak out and up, it's unfair to treat divorced woman the way we used to treat them.


Omar said...

Its really sad how people look to divorced ladies, while we are sure its not always here fault & she will pay that way a price for her ex-husband mistakes.

hamede said...


Luai Al-Masri said...

You've said it, Rusty Brains!!!!!
I totally agree with you..........
We know how men can be pigs with their wives, and even the reversed case some other times. It can be from both sexes but we as men always give our self the power to judge the world and never think to judge our selves. Complete STUPIDITY!

Lina K said...

Good on you Bashar, enchanting blogg..
I have recently dicovered this JordanPlanet and I love browsing on each blogg! Many bright topics, accurate and fun to a migrated Arabic female to read.. Brave that you chose the divorcee topic, however, be honest, SO U Would NOT mind marrying a divorcee?? If so, great on you!! Am suposed to be working, but there are no customers today. Hihi

Lina Again said...

Sorry I wrote your name wrong I see, am still new to all you bloggers! Though I liked this jordan planet and u will c me here often commenting and sharing your thoughts!
Cheers, XXX

eyad said...

Hey guys,

First of all thank you for the kind words, i really appreciate visiting my blog, and away from this,i hope it will lit a candle in this dark time of discrimination,and double standards,and injustice.
thanks to Omar,Hamede,Luai,Lina thanks for my new name i like it :)
and like to tell you that if i'm one of those who doesn't walk their talks, then i should be ashamed and not write about anything.

kinzi said...

Eyad, those are kind words that minister to me as one who has experienced divorce in my youth due to the unwillingness of the husband to honor his vows.

I took comfort from the words of the prophet Isaiah 54 at the time "Sing, you who have not born, burst into song and shout for joy...do not be afraid: you will not suffer shame, do not fear disgrace, you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth...For your Maker is your Husband, the holy One is your Redeemer...the Lord will call you, like wife deserted and distrssed, a wife who married only to be rejected"

There was a man who saw through the shame and proudly took me as his wife, and I now do have children and sing for joy. I pray this same comfort for many who have suffered in this way.

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